Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Am I too Wishy-Washy Part II: Starbucks verses Dunkin'

 

I am writing this (or at least starting to write this on but who knows when I’ll finish/publish) on National Coffee Day, September 29th, 2023.   Not quite sure why September 29th was chosen for this US holiday.   International Coffee Day is October 1st which makes a bit more sense since by October 1st there is definitely a nice Autumnal chill in the air and hopefully the hot sweltry days of Summer are somewhat gone at least until the first Indian Summer 80-degree day hits the Chicago area around Columbus/Indigenous Persons’ day.  

So, with a lot of places offering free coffee to the 15% of the US population that goes out for a cup of joe on a daily basis or the nearly a third of the US population going out for coffee once a week [i]I started National Coffee Day by taking a quick Facebook poll.  I wanted to see which of the two major coffee chains that have a somewhat of a stranglehold on the greater Chicagoland area my Facebook friends liked more: one of the 575 Starbucks in the state of Illinois with about 80% of those Starbucks located within a 30-mile radius of me[ii] or one of the 696 Dunkin’ ‘[iii]  that are probably mandatory for a town in Illinois as soon as its population rises above 5,000 people.  From what I can tell most people prefer Starbucks coffee to Dunkin coffee per my nowhere near scientifically accurate poll with one person saying neither and a few others suggesting McDonalds or White Castle coffee may have a better cup of coffee.

So, which do I like better?  It’s hard to say.  My husband worries that my inability to pick a side means I’m too terrified to anger an all-powerful green mermaid or purple thick stick figure American running man.   But today I decided I’m OK with liking and disliking both Dunkin’ and Starbucks at the same time for various reasons.

Here’s my problem and I think it’s a common problem with coffee drinkers.   That coffee bean soup (See MatPat’s Food Theory Video on that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRpJnS4yc7k ) is how one obtains the caffeine drug one needs to combat the lack of sleep from the night before.   Once upon a time no one really cared that coffee was bitter tasting. [iv]  It was just, well, coffee and no different than the calcium carbonate corn starch sucrose binding agent[v] Tylenol uses to contain the acetaminophen needed to drop my pain scale from ten down to one.   Americans just drank it and took it either black, with cream, with sugar, or with both.    I think part of the reason why Dunkin’ Donuts(Dunkin’ dropped the famous Donut part of its’ name in 2018 to try and sell more higher calorie beverages instead of higher calorie donuts) took off in the 1950’s is because they had a better basic coffee than the Maxwell Houses, Hills Brothers, Folgers et al that Americans percolated back then to perk themselves up. 

Then in the 1970’s Starbucks emerged and elevated coffee from some boring arabica go-go juice to a literal art form with cute milk leaves in the center of your cup.  Now do you want dark roast or blonde roast coffee or espresso or cappuccino or latte or mocha, and is that hot brewed or cold brewed or iced?  Did you want to add shots of vanilla, caramel, peppermint, pumpkin, unicorn, and if you want milk it is cow milk, soy milk almond milk, oat milk or some partially hydrogenated trans-fatty cream?      Oh, and are those Fair-Trade coffees?   Coffee became a gourmet experience instead of just something you guzzled to keep your eyes open. Starbucks coffee shops brought that snooty (Venti is merely Italian for 20) European carefree vibe where one could leisurely sip their coffee for hours trying to become the next Jean Paul Sartre to the corner of Main St, Anytown USA.     

So, here’s what I discovered while sipping both Dunkin’ and Starbucks.

 First of all, both coffees are bitter, very bitter to my pallet and I need a minimum of 3 sugars to tolerate it.  As far as your classic Dunkin’ coffee vs Starbucks standard Pike’s Peak blend I do prefer Dunkin because it is less bitter.  However, we live in a world where there would be a riot if even a single coffee shop failed to offer their own version of the pumpkin spice latte during the fall.  Ironically Starbucks created the now infamous pumpkin spice latte because if they hadn’t over-roasted their beans per my mother-in-law (former owner of a small coffee shop) then they wouldn’t need some spices to cover up the taste of their coffee.   And I do prefer the way Starbucks makes a pumpkin spice latte or really the lattes in general.  In fact, I like the fact Starbucks is the only place I can get a soymilk latte and I find soy milk to be just a bit sweeter than the other milk alternatives out there (I can be a bit lactose intolerant nowadays).   Furthermore, Starbucks should be thanking whoever complained that their pumpkin spiced latte didn’t contain any actual pumpkin because my most recent Starbucks pumpkin spiced lattes had that subtle bump of pumpkin that elevated it above the similar Dunkin’ pumpkin spice latte.  The Dunkin’ pumpkin spiced latte was more like a spicy caramel latte than pumpkin not that there is anything wrong with a spicy caramel latte either.   

If someone put a gun to my head and forced me to choose between the two ubiquitous coffee chains I would have to ultimately choose Dunkin’ not so much because of the coffee they serve is better but because I can get the coffee slightly cheaper than Starbucks or even for free if I buy the still there but no longer celebrated donuts, or bagels, or egg wrap, or Munchkin donut hole via their app.  Here’s the ultimate problem for me though.  Basic Venti Starbucks Latte $4.95 vs basic Dunkin’ large 20 oz latte for $4.79 plus or minus sales tax and/or building rent is still about $5 out of my pocket for something that I like and will occasionally treat myself to but shouldn’t really do it on a routine basis for a variety of reasons.    It is much cheaper to add $0.70 worth of Starbucks or Dunkin freshly ground coffee beans to my coffee pot with about $0.75 worth of sugar, $1 worth of creamer and about $0.47 worth of flavor shots I got on Amazon as well as about a penny’s worth of pumpkin pie spice from a McCormick jar.  I’m also adding link for how to get a great cup of coffee from your average Mr. Coffee coffee maker.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xl2xUKSGt0

What I really miss is Caribou Coffee.  For those of you who may not have patronized that brand of coffee shop when it was around in the 1990’s and early 2000’s its philosophy was it was down to earth as opposed to Starbucks coffee pretentiousness.  I want to say the closer one lives to an actual caribou the more likely they are to encounter a Caribou Coffee still.  I loved their Mint Condition which was one might describe as a warm minty milkshake with Andes crème de menthe crushed candies on top.  It was a non-alcoholic equivalent of an Irish coffee.  I even loved it when the Caribou barista suggested a lower calorie (and cheaper) version of the 1,140 calorie Mint Condition with her recommending I just add a mint flavor shot to a bit of literal Javan adjacent Sumatran coffee and I fell in love with those Sumatran beans.   I find the only place I can get those beans now is at a Starbucks store and I’m not sure who has the better blend of Sumatran beans: Starbucks or Caribou but probably Caribou.      

 So, that’s my thoughts on coffee.   Now hopefully that green mermaid and purple American running man will leave me alone since I’m happy with both.             

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