Random thoughts on Lent 2023

Friday after Ash Wednesday.

Note to self-On the Fridays of Lent I need to listen to my Hallow app before bedtime not after.   What is Hallow you ask?  Well, it’s a Catholic prayer and meditation app I downloaded after seeing numerous ads on Facebook once Facebook realized I was both following the TV series “The Chosen” and its’ star Jonathan Roumie’s fan page.    So now that we are in an intense prayer season; I am listening to famous 21^st century TV Jesus actor Jonathan Roumie alternating with famous 21^st century movie Jesus actor Jim Caviezel reading from the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis who wrote this as if Jesus were talking to you.    But there’s more than pretend Jesuses reading this book!

Yes, Hallowed has also secured to talents of famous movie star Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights, The Departed, Ted).   Since the famous 21^st century pretend Jesuses were busy on Fridays Mark takes over the narration on the Imitation of Christ on Fridays.    It was kind of interesting to hear a famous movie actor talking about “a life in which we desire nothing of this world” when, well let’s face it, he’s had the world as his own personal oyster on some level.   He explained how fasting was a form of detachment from this world and its riches and how we are meant for the greatness of heaven. 

As for me, it’s day 3 of my Lenten journey and I’m still not much better at it and feeling like a complete failure.  Did not exercise (again), decided to sleep in since I was up until 1 am with an inability to sleep through last night. And my blogposts about my Lenten journeys are still on my laptop at this point as I type and not on my blogpost.   

This is what gets me during this Lenten season.   Why am I never any closer to Godliness at the end of these 40 days than when I begin?  Even if I make some trivial progress running up that hill of sand why do I feel like I’m never going to be good enough to be worthy of Heaven? 

Take today, for example.  It’s Friday so like all Fridays during Lent I abstained from meat.    My meals were as follows: Breakfast-Dunkin Donut coffee with oat milk, Stevia & a bagel & ½ of a Subway veggie delight footlong sub.    Lunch- The other ½ of that footlong veggie delight sub & water.  Dinner-two slices of Nancy’s stuffed spinach pizza with a 20 oz bottle of Coca-Cola.   Was it all Catholic Kosher- Yes it was.   Was it a good idea for me to have a bagel, footlong sub & two stuffed spinach pizza slices when I sit on my butt for my job for about 7 hours & no exercise the day before or today?  Probably not.    

You see once upon a time Lent used to be a bit harder for the average Catholic.  The reason why on fat Tuesday you have Europeans making pancakes, paczki, and king cakes is the pope & all the bishops demanded all Catholics go vegan for 40 days.   People had to use up lard, eggs, milk etc before limiting themselves to one meatless meal a day.   If as Mr. Wahlberg and most Catholic teachers assert I’m not meant for the pleasures of this world why am I having such a hard time giving up the pleasures of this world?