Random Thoughts on Lent 2023. 

1^st Sunday of Lent.

 So, it is now Sunday Night.   I went to mass at 7 am, went grocery shopping, grabbed a latte (something I gave up for Lent) from Dunkin Donuts using a Lenten loophole about Sundays(more on that next week), watched Bishop Robert Barron’s Sunday homily, and went to sleep for an hour before I needed to go with my husband to participate in an activity we are doing for the Diocese of Joliet.  

Actually, I’ve listened to three homilies relating to today’s readings.   Every 1^st Sunday of Lent the Gospel always talks about Jesus’s temptation in the desert.  Jesus has fasted for 40 days and nights in the desert and at the point He is at His weakness Satan comes to him and tempts him to 1. Turn stones into bread.  2. Throw himself down from the top of the Jewish 2^nd temple in Jerusalem to prove Angels will save him, 3. Get all of the kingdoms of the world instantly as long as Jesus is willing to bow down and worship Satan.  Now  Jesus denies Satan’s temptations by stating 1. “One does not live on bread alone but from every word that comes from the mouth of God.”  2. "You shall not put the Lord your God to the test." 3.  "The Lord, your God shall you worship & Him alone shall you serve."    

The 1^st homily I head was from my church’s permanent deacon.     He mentioned that sin usually comes when we are alone, in the desert.  He referenced how his hard working mother, who was still hardworking until very recently (he cited an incident where he went to check on his 76 year old mother during the pandemic only to find her on the roof putting tar down & working on replacing the damaged tiles by herself).   Now, his mother has a hard time standing, seeing and is feeling useless because she can’t do much anymore at age 80.    He reminded everyone prior to Jesus’ temptation in the desert he was baptized by John the Baptist and heard from Heaven in a loud voice God call Him His “Beloved Son” and how we need to remind ourselves this is who we are now thanks to our baptism.  

The 2nd homily I heard was Bishop Robert Barron.   Now Bishop Barren reminded  us that the 1^st reading in Genesis which brings up the temptation of Eve by the serpent  God allowed her and Adam to partake of the hundreds of trees in the garden, it was only 1 that God forbade Adam and her to eat of.  Bishop Barron mentioned that God’s no is a no to a no which turns into a yes. If we put ourselves as the one who puts our own ego in the center of the world the world goes amuck.  God wants us to have sensual pleasures. But God 1st, we do not live by bread alone.   Furthermore, we are not aggrandize ourselves.  Is it wrong to have the esteem of our fellow human beings? No, because God should be the ultimate honor.    We are also not to seek out power for ourselves but to submit ourselves to the ultimate source of power and righteousness in the universe God in all things. 

Lastly, on the Hallow app I heard Fr. Mike Schmitz’s homily on the Gospel.   1^st he reminds us that Jesus faced temptation and temptation will come anywhere.   Eve was in paradise when Satan approached her and she didn't know she should walk away from this tree.  She liked the idea of being like God.   So try and find ways to walk away from it as best you can.   He cited a couple who was dating and always gave into their lustful desires.   They cited a lovers’ point they would frequent when on the way home to the woman’s apartment.   Fr. Mike just urged them to go straight or avoid that point.  The idea is to not put the trigger on for these and to make sure God’s words are on your lips when Satan comes around.  He cited a simple prayer that priests begin the Liturgy of the Hours with “God come to my assistance, Lord make haste to help me”.

God, please come to my assistance, Lord please help me get up tomorrow morning at 5 am ready to get my workday of prayer, exercise, fasting & dealing with the negative people barraging me of how badly I/the company I work for sucks when I know that it does not. 

 Random thoughts on Lent

Saturday after Ash Wednesday.

Q: is a spoonful of sugar ok to help the Lenten medicine go down?  

Ah yes, the wisdom of Mary Poppins.   Shortly after the Bank’s children realize that Mary Poppins meets all of their advertised requirements she begins like all English nannies to disciple the children with a fun game called “Well begun is half done/lets tidy of the nursery”.  She goes on to explain that “In every job that must be done there is an element of fun.  You find the fun and snap, the job’s a game.”   

So, is washing up 48 hours worth of dishes fun? No.  Is listening to the angelic voices of the Benedictine sisters of Mary sing Lenten songs of lament and heartbreak on their “Lent at Ephesus” album fun? In a curious way it is.   So, why not listen to “Lent at Ephesus” while washing up the dishes and trying to clean up the kitchen.     Is waking up at 8 am on my day off to exercise & pray something I really want to do? No.  Is listening to Bishop Robert Barron’s annual Ash Wednesday’s homily where he reminds people they should be fasting from more than food (like gossiping or negative talk), taking time to up your prayer game by adding prayer into your day or going to daily mass, and make sure you give alms by maybe going for the Iphone 13 instead of the Iphone 14 and giving the difference to the poor something I would rather do. Yes.  So why not listen to Bishop Barron’s Ash Wednesday’s homily while doing some of my morning stretching exercises.

I was good, I was doing good, and I felt good up until 11 am when I strangely felt exhausted, wanted to lay down for just a few minutes before leaping up and doing other task and I ended up taking a three-hour nap.   Maybe it was because I hadn’t had a cup of coffee.  Maybe my weight turned what seemed like a simple task of washing up the dishes into a major exercise. 

Ultimately my fortitude left me and I went back to my slothy ways as I binge watched “Tulsa King” with my husband on the couch while Door Dashing a Chinese take out meal I could have at least gotten ½  off for if I felt like leaping up off the couch to go pick it up from the local Chinese restaurant.  Why do I enjoy being a sinner?

 Random thoughts on Lent 2023

Friday after Ash Wednesday.

Note to self-On the Fridays of Lent I need to listen to my Hallow app before bedtime not after.   What is Hallow you ask?  Well, it’s a Catholic prayer and meditation app I downloaded after seeing numerous ads on Facebook once Facebook realized I was both following the TV series “The Chosen” and its’ star Jonathan Roumie’s fan page.    So now that we are in an intense prayer season; I am listening to famous 21^st century TV Jesus actor Jonathan Roumie alternating with famous 21^st century movie Jesus actor Jim Caviezel reading from the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis who wrote this as if Jesus were talking to you.    But there’s more than pretend Jesuses reading this book!

Yes, Hallowed has also secured to talents of famous movie star Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights, The Departed, Ted).   Since the famous 21^st century pretend Jesuses were busy on Fridays Mark takes over the narration on the Imitation of Christ on Fridays.    It was kind of interesting to hear a famous movie actor talking about “a life in which we desire nothing of this world” when, well let’s face it, he’s had the world as his own personal oyster on some level.   He explained how fasting was a form of detachment from this world and its riches and how we are meant for the greatness of heaven. 

As for me, it’s day 3 of my Lenten journey and I’m still not much better at it and feeling like a complete failure.  Did not exercise (again), decided to sleep in since I was up until 1 am with an inability to sleep through last night. And my blogposts about my Lenten journeys are still on my laptop at this point as I type and not on my blogpost.   

This is what gets me during this Lenten season.   Why am I never any closer to Godliness at the end of these 40 days than when I begin?  Even if I make some trivial progress running up that hill of sand why do I feel like I’m never going to be good enough to be worthy of Heaven? 

Take today, for example.  It’s Friday so like all Fridays during Lent I abstained from meat.    My meals were as follows: Breakfast-Dunkin Donut coffee with oat milk, Stevia & a bagel & ½ of a Subway veggie delight footlong sub.    Lunch- The other ½ of that footlong veggie delight sub & water.  Dinner-two slices of Nancy’s stuffed spinach pizza with a 20 oz bottle of Coca-Cola.   Was it all Catholic Kosher- Yes it was.   Was it a good idea for me to have a bagel, footlong sub & two stuffed spinach pizza slices when I sit on my butt for my job for about 7 hours & no exercise the day before or today?  Probably not.    

You see once upon a time Lent used to be a bit harder for the average Catholic.  The reason why on fat Tuesday you have Europeans making pancakes, paczki, and king cakes is the pope & all the bishops demanded all Catholics go vegan for 40 days.   People had to use up lard, eggs, milk etc before limiting themselves to one meatless meal a day.   If as Mr. Wahlberg and most Catholic teachers assert I’m not meant for the pleasures of this world why am I having such a hard time giving up the pleasures of this world?

 Random thoughts on Lent 2023

Thursday after Ash Wednesday

Why do Catholics give up items during Lent.   There are several reasons that I’d rather you Google dear readers.   For me, an episode from the TV series “Charmed” (the late 1990’s and early 2000’s one that stared Shannon Doherty, Holly Marie Combs, and Allyssa Milano) called “Morality Bites” illustrates a principle of why many a good Catholic tries to give up something during Lent (as I said there are several reasons why we give up stuff for Lent, but this is one I can relate to).  The episode starts out with Phoebe, who has the power of premonition, seeing herself being burned at the stake at some vague date in the future.    This premonition is so upsetting that older sisters Prue and Piper along with Phoebe cast a spell to have them travel to the future to figure out why.  Turns out that Phoebe used her witchcraft powers to kill someone.  Phoebe’s famous killing has then strained Piper’s dream marriage to her lover Leo to the point of divorce, and Prue has become a witch with a capitol B.    Needless the say the three Halliwell sisters don’t like what they are seeing of their future selves and have to figure out how to prevent it.   So, when the fates (aka the writers) bring the sisters back to their present of 1999 they witness a neighbor walking his dog by their front door and the dog has decided to take care of its business on the steps of their front porch.  Annoyed at this Prue & Piper decide to use their witchy powers to try and teach this rude neighbor a lesson.  Meanwhile Phoebe stops them by realizing that by choosing to use their witchcraft powers to do harm rather than good (even if its only a minor harm) is what leads to their possible tragic future fate.    Of course actual fate would cause Shannon Doherty to leave the show in a huff to be replaced by Rose McGowan and that plot line to never come true.  But I’m digressing from my point.  

My point is that Jesus famously said in Luke 16 verse 10 He who is fateful in a little thing is also fateful also in much and vice versa.   So, by staying away from something like chocolate, which I’m trying to do, is a way to make sure my focus is on God and not my desire for coco-y melty, sugary treats that I’ll binge on instead of savoring just one.   Regrettably for me my initial enthusiasm and justification to try and undue every vice I have gets bogged down by a very powerful temptation factor and sometimes it could be saying yes to something small that I should say no to that is leading me down the primrose path to Hell.   

Which leads me I guess to my 1^st Lenten setback.   In addition to getting rid of the gluttonous urges inside of me I’m trying to get rid of the slothful urges as well.  Not only do I eat too much junk food but I also watch perhaps too much TV/YouTube.    I’m probably watching a good 3-4 hours of videos when I get home from work.   So, knowing that it’s best to not leave our dinner dishes for more than a few hours I’ve decided to stop watching part of YouTube, specifically any what I’m dubbing “secular” YouTube (any videos about non-spiritual things).  I’m leaving a loophole in for godly YouTubers Bishop Robert Barron, Fr. Mike Schmitz, Fr. Casey, Matt Fradd, Brandon Robbins, essentially people who will redirect my thoughts to God and what He wants from me as long as I’m not binge-watching their videos for 3-4 hours instead.    Of course the minute I pledge this secretly to myself is when I encounter my first temptation and like I have done with so many temptations before , I caved right in.  I’m catching Steve Colbert’s monologue on YouTube, I’m watching crazy animal videos on YouTube, I’m getting new fashion theories from MatPat’s new theory channel on YouTube.  I am completely ignoring the capital YOU that is God in favor of the me enjoying the 21^st century dullard tube.  (Too nervous of using the actual slang phrase here).

My inner slothful demon has even caused me to reverse some of the gains I was making against it.   I’ve been trying to exercise before I leave for work or start my work shift at home.  I didn’t exercise yesterday because I chose to attend church at 6:30 am instead.  Today, I had no excuse.  I just wanted to get some badly needed rest and thought it would be better to spend that hour of workout sleeping. I was probably extra tired because even though I managed to stay away from YouTube on Ash Wednesday, I was still taking a few hours and failing to publish the 1^st entry on this blog as originally planned on Ash Wednesday. 

Still, I have to keep reminding myself just because I failed to resist cute animal videos doesn’t mean I’m a failure.  It’s just a setback on my hard road to Heaven

 

Random thoughts on Lent 2023.

Day 1- Ash Wednesday

Today, it begins.   That intense time 40 (well really 46) days prior to Easter where I attempt repentance of some of my more deadly sins and replace them with virtues that I know God wants me to adhere to. Primarily I attempt to tackle my gluttony and replace it with temperance.   I’d figure as long as I have to fast during this season of Lent I might as well use it to attempt to eliminate some of the things I know are detrimental to my girlish figure or more accurately see if I can slim myself down to a girlish figure which I don’t think I ever had even when I was a girl.

Like millions of Christians/Catholics I too attended Ash Wednesday mass prior to me starting my job today.   You’d think with how crowded the 6:30 am mass I attended was Ash Wednesday was a holy day of obligation.  It’s not.   The only thing by code Cannon law 1251 is for anyone above the age of 14 to fast and abstain from meat/food in general on Ash Wednesday & Good Friday.   And even for Ash Wednesday & Good Friday you are allowed two smaller meals that should be no greater than the main meal of the day.  So theoretically you can get a donut & cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts, a cup of tomato soup & half a grilled cheese sandwich with a charged lemonade for lunch from Panera and you can pig out on all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster as long as you wash that ash cross off your forehead 1^st.  

Now, there are a couple of ironies about everyone rushing into church on Ash Wednesday to start off their Lenten fast.   Irony #1.  All Ash Wednesday’s masses have the same Gospel every year MT 6: 1-6 & 16-18 where Jesus instructs his follows about being hypocrites and making their faces glum and making it obvious you’re fasting.  Jesus specifically instructs “When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face you that you may not appear to be fasting.”   So, anyone who goes to any church distributing ashes is telling the whole world you are fasting.   Irony #2.  I’ve known people who have diligently attended Ash Wednesday services and abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent according to Catholic cannon law only to ignore the all important 3^rd commandment of keeping the sabbath holy by going to church on Sunday as stated in Exodus 20- 8-10.   Irony #3 (for me alone this year) This Ash Wednesday was a work from home day for me.  Yes, I could have raced towards the office to show off my ash cross on my forehead but my home is closest to church not my office.  Moreover, I enjoy the days I work from home so I can use my lunch break to scream in a guttural rage of exacerbation when I can’t seem to keep up with the calls/issues I have to deal with and not have to worry if I’m about to be arrested and/or fired for being insane.   So, my attendance at Mass was for me and my soul.  My reminder that I am to return to dust if I don’t try my hardest to repent.

Life is beautiful, so why do I need a photo to prove it?

 

Hello everyone,  my name is Mary.  And I’m a recovering shutterbug-aholic.  My obsession with photos began when I was four years old and my parents gave me a toy Fisher-Price camera for Christmas.   Luckily for my parents the world/Fisher-Price hadn’t developed the technology that would allow a four-year-old to take real photos in the 1970’s so I was kept happy with a fancy slide show I could see through the fake lens of the camera.    I had to ask my second-grade teacher how to spell photographer when I was asked to draw a picture of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  To this day my husband has not forgiven me for ruining a romantic drive through the great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee by insisting we stop every few hundred feet to capture these incredible miniature waterfalls trickling down epic granite rockfaces covered with abundant leaves in their autumnal colors.     And although my foray into the world of professional photography amounted to one summer class in college, I am still naïvely pointing my smartphone at several objects/people/places hoping that photographic image will make Ansel Adams jealous. 

So, you think when I’m seeing my Facebook friends post the “10 random photos” challenge on Facebook to prove life is beautiful I’d be all over that challenge.   I’d be posting a photo every 10 minutes from my vast collection showing how life is beautiful.    My biggest challenge might be to just limit myself to 10 random photos showing how life is beautiful.   Heck, I thought the whole point of Facebook is for everyone to post photos on how their life is beautiful on a routine basis. 

And yet- why is a little voice inside of my head telling me “Don’t do it Mary”.  

I think the reason why I’m reluctant to follow this Facebook challenge is that I still don’t completely trust Facebook.  Say for example I post a picture of this wonderful winter scene with a caption “Wow I have my own Courier and Ives picture postcard scene to enjoy while sipping on my Starbucks soy vanilla latte”.    Chances are Facebook will pass my picture & caption onto Starbucks and best case scenario Starbucks may give me coupon for a buy one get one free coffee.   More than likely case scenario is they’ll pester my Facebook family & friends like my mother-in-law with their Starbucks adds underneath my post or somehow post to their Facebook page a plea to drink more of a product my mother-in-law compares to burnt water.   (Actually, I think my mother-in-law would prefer burnt water to a cup of Starbucks).    And I’m not sure if I should be publicly endorsing Starbucks if they’re trying to prevent their employees from unionizing so the baristas can afford buy Starbucks coffee.

Not to mention sometimes we don’t need pretty pictures; we need ugly ones.   I just got done watching Ken Burns latest PBS special called “The U.S. and The Holocaust.”   As I watched it, I learned several things.  1. Adolph Hitler was inspired to do what he did by prominent late nineteenth and early twentieth century American hate-mongering eugenics idiots like Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger, 2.  Anne Frank would be a 93-year-old great grandmother of four with a screenwriting credit on “80 for Brady” if America wasn’t so horrifically antisemitic in the 1930’s and 40’s.   3.  Ken Burns owes a lot of his visuals to the average Jupp Nazi who decided to take vomit inducing snapshots of their fellow satanic comrades shooting innocent Jewish men, women, & children in the head in a ditch.    Maybe if Facebook was around in the 1930’s the Holocaust would have been stopped.   Then again maybe Facebook would accelerate the whole Holocaust situation like they did with the Rohingya in Myanmar.  https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2022/09/myanmar-facebooks-systems-promoted-violence-against-rohingya-meta-owes-reparations-new-report/  which of course leads me to point 4.  Yes I too failed to prevent/still failing to prevent modern day genocides because somehow the numbers are too overwhelming to comprehend and I feel so small and helpless when compared to the numbers.

Yes, I am obsessed with photos because I know a picture can say a thousand words and pictures have moved us to action, to honor, to right a wrong, to preserve a treasure to be kept alive for a thousand years.   However, as I grow older.  Part of me realizes that maybe you don’t need a picture to remember how life is beautiful.

Take, for example a scene I witnessed a couple of Sundays ago at my local church.   Our associate pastor is a humble priest from Colombia who loves to deliver his homilies with a comedic touch.   Like all priest he usually waits in the doorway in the vestibule after mass to greet the parishioners as they exit the church.  My husband was busy trying to practice the Spanish he was learning with one of my church’s bilingual deacons leaving me to watch this magical scene unfolding before my eyes.  Our associate pastor was busy entertaining a pair of two-year-old twin girls, by having them play with the folds of his green and gold chasuble.  He was like a magician making one briefly disappear only to magically reappear again with a mere flick of his vestment.   The girls were delighted with his chasuble and he was delighted with the bright smiles on their faces.  It seemed so magical and part of me wanted to just grab my camera to capture this joyous moment to preserve it forever.  And yet, I held off, keeping the joy of the moment to myself and sharing a smile with my local priest.

Happiness is always a fleeting moment, and you can never truly capture it.   Beauty will fade and even an image of beauty will fade with time.   So, maybe it’s always best to remember life is beautiful with memories especially when life is so hard.

And it’s probably best to keep those Kodak moments to yourself or directly email them with the friends/family who bring you joy instead of just randomly putting them on Facebook.