I once heard a story about a ceramic teacher
that divided their ceramics class into two groups. One side of the class would be judged on the
volume of pottery they produced with 50 LBs or more being an A and grade going
down depending upon weight. The other
side of the class could produce only 1 piece of pottery for the entire
semester, but that piece of pottery had to make a Ming vase green with envy in
order to earn that coveted A. [i] At the
conclusion of the semester it turns out that the students who produced the
greatest quantity of ceramic art also produced the greatest quality. The moral of the story being practice makes
perfect or perhaps it’s better to just do it and get better as you go along doing
it instead of pondering artistic theory before you put it into practice. Realistically, this is one of those modern
internet myths that no actual ceramic art teacher would ever do. Why? Well say a teacher has 20 students in
their ceramic class and to give the 10 or so kids being judged by quantity a
realistic shot at an A they have to buy each of them 60 LBs of clay at a price
of about $60-$100 per sack not to mention maybe an additional $70 on ceramic
glazes and paints for a total of $1700 for the quantity kids. Meanwhile the quality kids may have had only
that one lone 10 LB block of clay and only the one shot at the masterpiece. So, unless that kid in the quality group was
the next Beate Kuhn the odds of them getting that coveted A would be slim to
none. The chances of the parents of the
kids in the quality group being angry at that ceramic teacher for not giving
their kids a fair shot at being the next Beate Kuhn, as probable as a sunburn
on a hot summer day. Also, while the quantity kids may have
produced a better quality of ceramic art masterpieces, the myth doesn’t explain
what percent of the 50 LB quantity of ceramic pieces can qualify as quality art
pieces. Maybe 10% of those quantity
pieces could be quality enough to be sold on Etsy for $100 or more. The rest probably would be lucky to be sold
at a garage sale for a quarter if not given away to Goodwill or thrown in the
trash.
This
internet quantity producing quality tale may explain why Disney is in the state
that it is in with most of their franchises loosing money at the box office
this summer. Throughout Disney CEO Bob Iger’s tenure he’s turned the company
into an entertainment equivalent of Voltron(or Mighty Morphing Power Rangers if
you’re a 90’s kid) with Mickey Mouse’s ears, a brain is filled with National
Geographic knowledge, Jack Sparow’s eyes, Hannah Montana’s voice, Darth Vader’s
arms, Woody’s chest, Homer Simpson’s beer gut, Iron Man’s jet legs, Kermit the
Frog’s green webbed feet and a football (or fùtbol) at its side. Their goal is to put out as much content
hoping that maybe something will turn out to be quality. YouTuber Patrick h Wilhems [ii]
had a whole homophone exploration of
problems of corporations like Disney happy to keep the content flowing and art
be damned because we in the audience are content with whatever stuff is coming
our way like these awful Disney remakes of their classic animated movies. But
maybe that’s part of Disney’s strategy as well.
They greenlight something recognizable that people will pay millions of
dollars to cringe while watching only to make them make sure they have those
Disney+ subscriptions so they can track down the originals and appreciate how
much better the original is than the live action remake. However, at $250 million dollars to turn “The
Little Mermaid” into a partial live action film (Flounder, Sebastian, and
Scuttle are still CGI animated-badly) just so someone could log on Disney+ to
seek a better version of the movie that kicked off the Disney Renaissance is
obviously one expensive loss leader. Not
to mention Disney putting poor Halle Bailey through the Anti-Woke internet mob
because she wasn’t a white redhead pining for a heterosexual manly male prince. Disney should have just cast Bailey as either
a live action or animated version of Elton John’s “Aida” to up their
integration/antidiscrimination bona fides.
Furthermore, because Disney is now such an
entertainment conglomerate they have to figure out ways of making sure their
other properties (Marvel, Pixar, Star Wars, The Muppets) can keep drawing new
fans or at least keep the old fans somewhat happy. This is a tough needle for any entertainment
company to thread nowadays with internet YouTubers willing to go on and on why
XYZ Disney property sucks with points that are relevant such as bad plot twists
(Evil Emperor Zurg is an older alternative universe Buzz Lightyear?) to something that’s irrelevant as far as the
drama of the story (a cartoon character is openly gay). Unfortunately, who knows if someone would be
willing to watch something totally brand new out of nowhere with a really
outlandish ideas. (Disney’s Strange
Worlds $200 million box office loss was the answer to that).
So,
here’s something that may be a bitter pill for Disney or all movie studios/entertainment
conglomerates may have to swallow-Don’t try and make any more movies or shows.
What?
The
way I see it, there is 100+ years of cinema history and 70+ years of television
for the average viewer to explore.
Disney doesn’t need to remake its iconic original first full feature
animation film “Snow White” and create some bad buzz around it by casting a
Latina whose skin is a lovely shade of beige instead of porcelain, was too
afraid to watch “Snow White” when she was a little girl, and looking forward to
a story where Snow White becomes a girl boss without the help of some prince
while demanding to be well compensated for wearing an ugly dress for 12 hours
in the hot sun. Would be live action
Snow White Rachel Zegler (aka Spielberg’s Maria from “West Side Story.”) was
right about how “Snow White” is very scary movie to a little kid. The evil
queen is a scary villain. Snow White
had to run for her life in a scary strange dark forest knowing her evil
stepmother is trying to kill her. The evil queen partially succeeds by
ironically changing from a beautiful queen to an ugly old hag thereby
nullifying the whole reason why the evil queen was out to kill Snow White to
begin with. The original “Snow White
& the 7 dwarfs” was revolutionary movie making when it was released in
1937. I loved how someone had to hand
draw in little details like reflections in water or shadows on floors or make
sure that blue blouse of Snow White had shading that would properly reflect the
saturation of that shade of blue our eyes would perceive depending upon the
lighting. The only part that may be stuck in 1937 that somewhat may need to be
updated is the operetta style of music (hence a need for a lovely operatic
voice like Zegler’s) that was popular then but quickly became extinct when
Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma” debuted on Broadway in 1943. Otherwise,
Disney should abandon those remakes and I’m not the first person to state
this. Kids and even adults of all ages
should take the time to enjoy Walt Disney’s personal masterpiece whose tale is
indeed timeless even if it scares them for a few minutes. The world is scary. Evil is scary and this is something that is
good entertainment that generations have experienced by now. Besides, in 2012 two movies came out remaking
Snow White as the girl-boss badass hero (“Mirror Mirror”, “Snow White & the
Huntsman”) also are available for streaming somewhere along with Disney’s own
modern remix called “Once Upon a Time.” Which was a series that put Snow White,
her Prince, and a bunch of other Disney fairytale heroes/heroines/villains in
modern day Storybrooke, Maine, are also available for streaming somewhere.
Warner
Brothers is in a similar paper mâché boat.
I remember tracking down Warner Brother’s greatest movie “Casablanca”
that won the academy award for the best motion picture of 1942. It’s one of those studio factory films that
featured contract players (Humphry Bogart) a modified script, a regular studio director
that somehow rose above the quantity mass of the movie studio system to be
something truly excellent. I know when
I watched that on HBO Max, Max then recommended a Charlie Chaplain film I
wasn’t familiar with. “A Day’s Pleasure”
which featured Charlie Chaplin trying to take his family on an afternoon cruise
and of course the hilarity that ensues because nothing is ever simple for the
famous silent era tramp. Yes, I still
found it funny well over 100 years after the film 1st came out. Why not advertise/promote those videos
for streaming instead of releasing a mediocre “Blue Beetle” and especially an awful “The Flash” that were probably box
office bombs because of a glut of somewhat to a lot better Marvel superhero
films. In my humble opinion there are
plenty of incarnations of much better DC Superheroes that Warner Brothers now
own on the streaming screen (1978’s “Superman”, Tim Burton’s edgy 1989 “Batman”
or Christopher Noland’s “Dark Knight” trilogy) as well as several animated
versions of those shows that kids and adults alike should also explore.
Now,
don’t get me wrong. I’m sure me and your
average movie goer/TV streaming viewer would like something new occasionally. I’m still hoping my previous blog entry
advocating 6.4 million people to give Dallas Jenkins $25 each at www.comeandseefoundation.org so
I can eventually see Dallas Jenkins version of the crucifixion and resurrection
of Jesus will go viral and he’ll get that $160 million in crowdfunding he needs
(He’s already admitted he is running season 4 at a loss). And I’m sure there are plenty of fans of
plenty of other shows who would love to watch more of other things and looking
forward to other shows. I just believe
those professionally produced Hollywood productions may be fewer and far
between. Ironically, I think the movie
studios may have to give more money to writers.
In fact, my suggestion for the Hollywood movie moguls like Disney’s Iger,
Warner’s Zaslov Paramount’s Sheri
Redstone is to hire a team of writers to work on multiple shows/movies and pay
them a weekly salary, whether their scripts get produced or not like in the
old-time Hollywood days. This would
certainly give newer writers a chance to hone their craft and realize that what
makes a good western, sci-fi show, soap-opera melodrama, screwball comedy is
pretty much the same across genres-good plots, good dialogue, and good
character development. I would even encourage a greater selection of
minority writers from minority communities to encourage them to tell their
tales and get feedback on how to make something unique to their culture to become truly universal
from older more established writers. I realize this would mean a smaller pool of
writers to create those shows and movies and someone like me may have a harder
time getting into showbusiness, but at least those smaller pool of writers will
not have to go on welfare to support themselves. Acting in Hollywood is always a tough job
with most actors working long hours for just a few short weeks a year. [iii]
To this, I’d say the general public
needs to do a better job supporting their local theater community to keep more
of them employed. Heck, with this
YouTube era there are plenty of opportunities for writers & actors to perhaps
put on plays that can be seen by everyone without having to jump through a
Hollywood hoop. (One of my favorites is “Socrates
Meet Jesus” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWxop3Kz8Fg
which
was an adaptation of a book done by modern philosopher Peter Kreef)
And
the ultimate reason why I feel fine is I realized most of the time I’m not
tuning into a streaming service watching a professionally made show. I’m far more likely to sit down and watch
MatPat of the Film Theory channel lecture Disney [iv] on when and how to release the movies from
their vast collection. I’ve realized as
I look at the references I’ve put down there are nearly a dozen YouTuber’s I’ve
added links to and whose channels I am obviously preferring to watch instead of
CBS/NBC/ABC etc. To be honest, I’m far
more likely to watch the behind-the-scenes production videos of “The Chosen” and scene analysis videos on the “The Chosen”
like the “The Snipe Life” [v]than
I am to sit down and #BingeJesus by rewatching the actual “Chosen” series.
However, part of me if wondering is it wise to
do something even as good as #bingejesus?
Right
now the average person watches three hours or more of TV per night[vi]. I know I probably up the average a bit as
well. But just because the average person does
watch three hours of media a night doesn’t mean that maybe a person should
watch three hours of media a night. I know that there are things I critically need
to do during those three hours (clean up the kitchen, exercise, write this
blogpost, sleep) that I don’t do because I’m watching a lot of TV. I know I still have a long-term goal of
getting back to reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series where I can
determine in my own mind (or at least figure out what was in J. R. R. Tolkien’s
mind) how Tolkien viewed Aragorn instead of how Vigo Mortenson portrayed Aragorn.
According to a recent poll[vii]
almost half of Americans have not read a book in the past twelve months. I myself am guilty of being part of that
statistic which should be a great shame as a writer. Not to
mention a good paperback book is probably more environmentally friendly than
using electricity to operate a TV set with a WiFi connections as well as the
costs/environmental costs that went into making the movie or TV show to begin
with.
Furthermore,
a quick Google search asking is watching TV (in particular binge-watching TV
which anything after binge should probably automatically mean it’s bad for you[viii])
goes on to explain how sitting for hours couch potatoing increases obesity
(probably because you are mindless munching on a bunch of potato chips) and
heart disease and depression and isolation.
Granted, I think TV and media in
general have evolved from the “Vast Wasteland” Former FCC chairman Newton Minow[ix]
decried television to be in 1961 to a vast ocean of content where you have to
somehow surf to discover that which is good.
I know videos like Be Kind Rewind comparison of the 1931’s “All’s Quiet
on the Western Front” to Netflix’s 2022 remake of the movie [x]
and the original book can be good at finding something to watch when you do
have a few hours/minutes to kill.
In
the meantime, I know should be staying away TV in all of it’s modern
incarnations to focus on my physical and mental health and I think I’m not alone
in this.
[i] https://austinkleon.com/2020/12/10/quantity-leads-to-quality-the-origin-of-a-parable/
